So you think you live in the land of the free? How free are we really? I'm not talking about marriage equality or gun control. I'm talking about if a tree fell in the forest and you were there, have you committed a crime without even knowing it type stuff. How many ridiculous, antiquated, or just plain unenforceable laws are still on the books? I went Googling and here are 7 of my favorites.
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| Image courtesy of Teerapun at FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
Leave Bigfoot Alone! Washington State 1991, Bill 92-247 The
harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony
punishable by fine up to $100,000 and/or imprisonment up to 10 years. Copy that. I certainly will not harass any species that is as yet undiscovered.
Drivers yield to
everybody always. Oregon law from 1983, Traffic Law 811.025 Drivers
must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk. Failure to yield to a pedestrian on a
sidewalk is a Class B traffic violation.
I can't even begin to understand how this works...
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| Image courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt |
Don’t open your car
door. Okay now you can open it. Okay hurry up and close it! Also from the 1980s in Oregon, Traffic
Law 811.490 says that a door on a car may not be left open longer than is
necessary. The law also specifies under
what circumstances you can open a vehicle door.
Note: if there are pedestrians on
the sidewalk, the passenger side doors may NOT be opened. Improper opening or leaving open a vehicle
door is a Class D violation. Alrighty then.
No dice! (At least
not fuzzy ones dangling from your rear view mirror.) Illinois (And possibly
other states) Law 625 ILCS 5/12-503(c).2 prohibits a driver from operating
a vehicle with any objects placed or suspended between the driver and the front
windshield which materially obstructs the driver's view. No pine scent, fuzzy dice, tiny disco balls, or
Hawaiian leis for you good folks.
No humans roaming
around off leash. In Belvedere, CA
(just north of San Francisco) there is a City Council order that states: “No
dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” Hehe
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| Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Common |
No Silly String. Southington, Connecticut banned Silly
String in 1996. Violators will be fined 99
serious dollars.
Sorry, idiots can’t
vote. My personal favorite, from New
Mexico Article VII Elective Franchise clearly states that idiots may not
vote. “Every citizen of the United
States, who is over the age of twenty-one years, and has resided in New Mexico
twelve months, … except idiots,
insane persons and persons convicted of a felonious or crime shall be qualified
to vote at all elections for public officers.” Can we just make that federal law? Pretty please?
As Walter Sobchak said in The Big Lebowski, “There are rules.” So while you’re safely enjoying some fireworks this
Independence Day, appreciate those smaller freedoms you have as an
American, because hey, your dog could be walking you!
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| Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons |
