Tell Me a Christmas Story?

You never know what you’re going to find at the library.  Stick with me, it's worth it... I recently checked out a book called The Solstice Evergreen: History, Folklore, and Origins of the Christmas Tree, by Sheryl Karas. (1)  It has been quite an enjoyable read!  My favorite story is a little gem called ‘The Two Pine Cones’.  The story comes from from Finland.  

Photo by Me and used with my own permission

The tale is seasonally appropriate and would be lovely to share with any miserly type one may come across *cough* Mr. Trump *cough*.  Perhaps he can find some young apprentice to read it aloud to him.  

And it summarizes a bit like this… 

An old weary traveling wizard needs a place to rest for the night.  He passes a small log hut thinking to himself that he couldn’t possibly ask the poor family for anything, since they have so little for themselves.  He proceeds to a large ‘well-kept’ home instead and knocks on the door.  He is insulted, threatened, and turned away.  He returns to the log hut to humbly ask for a place to sleep.  He is invited in, fed, and given the only bed in the household.  To repay the kindness the next morning, the wizard gives the woman of the house a pine cone, telling her it will help her prosper in her first task of the day.  The woman’s first task is to measure the linen she had woven the day before.  It took her three days to measure all she had, as it kept multiplying.  She had enough to last the rest of their lives.  

The story of the poor family’s luck spread and the well-to-do family anxiously awaited the wizard’s return.  When he did in fact pass through town again, the rich family invited him in and treated him luxuriously.  In the morning, he offered a pine cone in gratitude and the woman of the house accepted it.  Her plan was to count her coin purse and reap the magic benefits.  Unfortunately, she sneezed first, and went to retrieve her handkerchief.  She spent the next three days sneezing and running to her handkerchief.  

Bless you, Mr. Trump, if you get my meaning…  And a Merry Xmas to the rest of us!

(1) Karas, Sheryl. The Solstice Evergreen: History, Folklore, and Origins of the Christmas Tree. Boulder Creek, CA: Aslan Pub., 1991. Print.

How Many Parents Do You Really Have?

Image courtesy of supakitmod at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You may think that most people have no more than two parents.  Could you possibly be wrong?  I'm asking...

Perhaps you have one or more voluntary parents.  What constitutes a voluntary parent you ask?

A voluntary parent is an adult that loves and nurtures a child (or a grown-up child) with which they share no blood relation.

They are adults that care for us out of compassion, rather than obligation.

Sometimes the voluntary parent holds a potentially meaningless title or prefix like ‘step’ or ‘in-law’.  These mean different things to different people and often require an explanation of the relationship. 

The voluntary parent does things without thanks and with acceptance of the fact that you’ll probably never send them a birthday card.

The voluntary parent can teach you a lot about yourself because they see you more objectively than perhaps the rest of your family does.

The voluntary parent rarely plays the guilt card.

You probably won’t become a duplicate of your voluntary parent as you age, but you will miss them fiercely between visits, sometimes even more than your ‘real’ parents.

The bonds between you and your voluntary parents are very special and cannot be broken by time or distance.

So here’s to the parents who are just as important as... your parents.  Here’s to the Steps, the Aunts and Uncles, and yes, the In-laws.  Thanks for the love, the laughs, and the lessons.  I cherish all of you.

I miss you, Dad!

Why?

Why...

Gig Bless Us, Every One...

Image courtesy of geralt at Pixabay.com

Once upon a time 

I traveled store to store.  Nowadays I one stop shop:  veggies aisle one, curtains aisle four.

When I lost my way I'd consult giant maps, which I never could fold, only wad in my lap.  

Now I can make calls or send texts, while I drive

Multitasking technology keeps me alive.

When I get where I'm going the car does its own parking.

It charges and self navigates each embarking.

If I get home late and it's past dinner time, I just send emoji and pizza is mine!

What's on tv I never need know, because magic devices record all my shows.  

For every desire there's most surely an app

All our wishes, whims, wants with simply a tap

Instant gratification is our new motto

With the time we're all saving, Oh the places we'll go!

I'd like to go camping but there's no wifi 

What good are pictures of a brilliant night sky

If I cannot tweet them or share them for likes?

No Snapchat of marshmallows?  Seems a bit trite.

Off I must go, I've no more time for typing.  While I'm writing this poem, I could be off Skyping.

Thank the batteries and chargers that make my life happen

And may gigs bless this grid we've so foolishly fastened.

A poem by Gen Clever

How Do I Get My Happy Back?

Image courtesy of PixArc at Pixabay.com

Stressful day at work?  Loved ones struggling at the moment?  Financial woes?  Another shooting on the news?  Life is grand.  Sometimes life is a grand piano falling out of a third story window… towards your car… that you are still in, digging for change to feed the expired parking meter.  So what do you do to get your happy back?  Try doing yoga, or taking a walk.  Wait, what?  Seriously?  Let’s face it, those things require a certain amount of motivation and/or special pants.  But here are 5 dirt cheap easy things that maybe, just maybe will help you get back up:

1) Hug your dog.  I mean get down on the floor and really hug your dog.  My dog loves this.  I can tell by his top speed tail wagging, and hissquinty-with-pleasure gooey eyes.  Ahhhhhh…

2) Watch the movie that you and your best friend obsessed over as kids.  This is probably the same movie that you and your best friend still obsess over.  Pop some corn, melt your cares, or at least some butter.

3) Play a retro video game.  Super Mario Brothers comes to my mind.  Play whatever you like and/or have access to.  Turn up the volume and remember, buttons are for mashing!

4) Go outside and look up.  If it’s dark, find pictures in the stars.  If it’s cloudy, find pictures in the clouds.  If it’s both dark and cloudy, try out an app that will show you the stars you would see if it wasn’t.

5) Get crafty.  Cut out paper snowflakes.  Slice up a magazine and make a collage.  Get glue and glitter all over the place, and go to bed without cleaning it up.  That’s right!


The point is to change the scenery in your mind.  Stop the film reel in your head from playing the same scene over and over again.  Stop watching what happened.  Stop watching previews of what could or might happen later.  Turn off your mental picture show.  Step away from technology and electronics (except for that cloudy and dark scenario from number 4).  Breathe.  Put your stress in coat check and pick it up later.  Are you ready?  I’m asking…

Image courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt 

Are there SHARKS in these waters?!

Image courtesy of skeeze at Pixabay.com

What is it about sharks that fascinates us so?  I myself am not a surfer.  I don't own a boat.  I live two hours inland for Pete's sake.  And yet every year, Shark Week will conquer my DVR like Genghis Khan. Those Xmas movies I never got around to watching last year are about to be replaced by 'The Great White Serial Killer'.  No really, that's one of the shows this year.  It was captivating!

People watch a lot of murderous programming.  We certainly don't mind viewing the darker side of humanity from the safety of our living rooms.  Besides, they always catch the bad guy so we're safe to roam about the city.  But let's talk about sharks.  The planet is 70% water and we have devoted an entire week to scaring ourselves out of it.  That's morbid.

Image courtesy of alondav at Pixabay.com

Can we also talk about the divers that don't use shark cages?!  They built that cage for a reason.  They call it a shark cage for a reason.  You refusing to use it demonstrates a lack of reason.  And that my friends is called entertainment value.  Will he or won't he get eaten?

Might as well just pin a medal on that dorsal fin because the sharks always win.  When a pedestrian almost gets hit by a car, that's called a near miss and everyone goes on their merry way.  When some dumb lucky human successfully fends off a shark, the shark still wins because it will come back, only a bit more pissy.  Does anyone have a bigger boat I can borrow?  I'm asking...



http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/shark-week/

Are you breaking any laws?

So you think you live in the land of the free?  How free are we really?  I'm not talking about marriage equality or gun control.  I'm talking about if a tree fell in the forest and you were there, have you committed a crime without even knowing it type stuff.   How many ridiculous, antiquated, or just plain unenforceable laws are still on the books?  I went Googling and here are 7 of my favorites.

Image courtesy of Teerapun at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Leave Bigfoot Alone!  Washington State 1991, Bill 92-247 The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by fine up to $100,000 and/or imprisonment up to 10 years.  Copy that.  I certainly will not harass any species that is as yet undiscovered.

Drivers yield to everybody always.  Oregon law from 1983, Traffic Law 811.025 Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.  Failure to yield to a pedestrian on a sidewalk is a Class B traffic violation.  I can't even begin to understand how this works...

 Image courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt 

Don’t open your car door.  Okay now you can open it.  Okay hurry up and close it!  Also from the 1980s in Oregon, Traffic Law 811.490 says that a door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.  The law also specifies under what circumstances you can open a vehicle door.  Note:  if there are pedestrians on the sidewalk, the passenger side doors may NOT be opened.  Improper opening or leaving open a vehicle door is a Class D violation. Alrighty then.

No dice! (At least not fuzzy ones dangling from your rear view mirror.) Illinois (And possibly other states) Law 625 ILCS 5/12-503(c).2 prohibits a driver from operating a vehicle with any objects placed or suspended between the driver and the front windshield which materially obstructs the driver's view.  No pine scent, fuzzy dice, tiny disco balls, or Hawaiian leis for you good folks.

No humans roaming around off leash.  In Belvedere, CA (just north of San Francisco) there is a City Council order that states: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” Hehe

Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Common

No Silly String.  Southington, Connecticut banned Silly String in 1996.  Violators will be fined 99 serious dollars.

Sorry, idiots can’t vote.  My personal favorite, from New Mexico Article VII Elective Franchise clearly states that idiots may not vote.  “Every citizen of the United States, who is over the age of twenty-one years, and has resided in New Mexico twelve months, … except idiots, insane persons and persons convicted of a felonious or crime shall be qualified to vote at all elections for public officers.”  Can we just make that federal law?  Pretty please?

As Walter Sobchak said in The Big Lebowski, “There are rules.”  So while you’re safely enjoying some fireworks this Independence Day, appreciate those smaller freedoms you have as an American, because hey, your dog could be walking you!

Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Visit http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/oregon to see oh so much more! 
 Please note that some of these laws may have been replealed. 
 I do not encourage you to find out which ones, or maybe I do.

Jesus said WHAT?!

“If I have faith great enough to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. There are in the end three things that last: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13: 2, 13

In light of the Supreme Court win regarding same sex marriage, those of us celebrating the decision are coupling our delight with preparation for the backlash.  There will be memes and rants and church signs with clever sayings about God being the only judge, not the Supreme Court.  So, what would Jesus do?

Image courtesy of Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I think Jesus would be against hate crimes.  I think Jesus would be opposed to protest signs with foul language on them.  I think Jesus would disagree with those who say homosexuals should be killed or locked away.  I don’t think Jesus would be happy that so many LGBT teens have taken their own lives because they suffered more undeserved hate and anger and confusion than they could endure. 

That’s what I think.  I don’t know for sure what Jesus would think or do because Jesus never said anything about homosexuality.  Of course, there are many things Jesus never spoke about… The Bible does appear to condemn certain sexual acts.  But here’s the kicker:  a person can be gay without being sexually active.  Sexual behavior is a choice, but sexual orientation is not.  Same sex love is not entirely about sex, just like heterosexual love is not entirely about sex.  Think about it.  If the Bible only addresses certain acts, then how are people drawing the conclusion that God is against loving same sex relationships and/or that God views homosexual people as bad? 

Of course the next ‘logical’ argument against homosexuality is that it’s an ‘abomination’ because it is ‘unnatural’ and goes against Gods plan.  See God created man and woman, meaning that Gods design is strictly heterosexual and anything that deviates from that plan is ungodly.  For me that's reading between the lines.  Besides, aren't Christians supposed to be Christ-like?  The goal is not to emulate Adam and Eve.  Adam and Eve are the original sinners!  Christ never married.  Christ was celibate.  That’s the general consensus anyway. “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)  So, how do people reach the conclusion that being gay is against God simply because God created straight people first?!  Yes 'God made them male and female'.  That's how procreation works.  Nothing about this includes an exclusion of homosexuality.  

Image courtesy of Adrian van Leen at openphoto.net

Some would say that the Bible actually speaks positively towards same sex relationships.  Read the story of David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel, or Naomi and Ruth in where else? the book of Ruth.  "Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me." (Ruth 1:17)  The story may be about friendship, or the women may have been in love.  We can’t know for sure based on the text but the women were certainly not condemned for their closeness, or looked down on for journeying together for a time without husbands or sons.

 

The point is that the Bible says very little about sexuality. A few extremists have taken what little it does say, drawn some pretty big conclusions, and used those conclusions to hate, discriminate, retranslate, and lead others through that gate.  Jesus never approved that message.  My hope today is that believers will pick up their Bibles and read them for themselves.  Anyone who believes that God feels that LGBT people are lesser human beings, or should be treated as such, is either misinformed or mislead.  Jesus taught love, acceptance, forgiveness, and closeness to God.

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." 1 John 4:20

Just for fun, here's the debunking of those pesky 'Clobber Passage's haters use to convince folks that the Bible says gays are abominable:

* Genesis 1: 27 (OLD Testament) Yes God created them male and female.  Nothing here implies anything about the sexual orientation of future peoples.

* Genesis 19:(OT)  Sodom and Gomorrah is about hospitality, pride and rape, not homosexuality.  Ezekiel 16:49 will clear up any confusion.

* Leviticus (OT) is part of Mosaic Law which does not apply to Christians or Gentiles in general.

* Mark 10:6 is Jesus speaking against divorce, not sexuality.  Read the chapter, not just a verse or two.

* Romans 1: 26-27 is about idol worship and people turning their backs on God, not about people who are naturally oriented towards the same gender. Read the ENTIRE chapter.

* 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11 has been retranslated over and over to become more and more homophobic.  Original translations use the word malakos, meaning "effeminate" or "soft," which refers to someone who lacks discipline or moral control. The word is used elsewhere in the New Testament and never with reference to sexuality.

* 1 Corinthians 6: 17-20 is Paul speaking against prostitution.  Read the verse in its full context, meaning read the whole chapter.

* 1 Timothy 1:8-11 has also been retranslated to include homosexuality in the list of offenses.  Original translations use the word arsenokoitai, referring to exploitive, unwanted, forcible sex between men.  It is the lewd that is detestable here.  Other mentions are slave traders, liars, and kidnappers.  

Thanks for taking the time to read the fine print.  Don't take my word for any of it.  Do your own homework and lots of it.  Peace & Love

Can I Not be the Grown-up in the Room?

Do you ever wish some pseudo more grown-up version of yourself would show up in a responsible looking ensemble to be whatever kind of adult the situation needs?  I don't clearly remember but I imagine that when I was a kid I had the typical drive to grow up, make the rules, and run the show.  It looked like so much fun... driving, paying for stuff, staying up late, reaching the top shelf.  Gee, that looked swell.

So here I am now in all my full grown-ness drowning in the tiny minutia of chores that end up on a 'To Do' list that never seems too done.  I have so much to do, the only way I can keep track of it all is to write it down, like I have to trick myself into doing what I gotta do. Sheesh.

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Friday afternoon I receive a call from the dentist's office.  My insurance company is dragging their feet paying for a root canal I had five months ago.  Add that delightful phone call to my list.  Next up: yard work!  I do enjoy most yard work and I think of how lovely it will be to have the work behind me so the fam can enjoy the yard this weekend.  Thirty minutes into my pleasure, the weedwacker quits working.  Ah well... I continue on with hedge clippers.  Not as fast, but my fence line looks pristine!  Hey, what's that pile of dirt under the tree over there?  Apparently, the mole colony I've been exorcising has returned. Okay, okay, they are a part of nature and a part of living in the wilds of Oregon.  I go to my deck box to get the repellent that doesn't really work but I can't kill the creatures no matter how ugly they are.  Oh my god!  There's a snake in there.  Really?!  What next?!  I need backup.

Image courtesy of geralt at pixabay.com

I go for help only to discover that I'm locked out of the house.  This is a true story kids.  I go to retrieve the hidden key from I can't tell you where, and the neighbors cat darts out from under the house.  Critters around the house are one thing.  Critters under it are quite another horror story.  It is at this point that I give up.  I throw in the proverbial towel and head indoors.  

Once safely inside I refer to my list.  I decide to assemble the new table I got from IKEA last week.  I realize at this point I'm tempting the fates.  Surprise! (or not) One of the legs has a manufacturing defect.  I may be getting screwed today, but this table leg sure isn't.  I spend the next two hours pondering a couple things.  Is it worth the risk of a highway ride to the Returns/Parts department? Also, are the fish tacos I want for dinner from the Pacific ocean and potentially toxic from the tsunami fallout?

Adulthood is fun but does not look like the brochure at all.  After all that I decided to scope Craigslist for a DeLorean or an old phone booth.  Anyone else on board?  I'm asking...

Why Can't I Buy What I Want?

Sorry guys, this one's for the ladies...  I have fashion problems.  These problems aren't that I can't dress myself in a fashionable way or that I'm stylistically impaired.  I do know how to make me feel brand new.  The problem lies with the makers of women's panties and tennis shoes.

Like any reasonable lady getting dressed, I'll start with the panties.  Why oh why can't I buy a package of solid black underwear?! I can buy a package of solid white underwear.  I can buy a package with one black pair in it, but inevitably that one lonely pair of black undies will share the package with at least one god-awful looking pair that has some juvenile pattern like polka dots or stars that I won't even wear on laundry day because no they're not 'fun to wear'. Seriously, why am I forced to buy my underwear individually simply because I prefer solid dark colors over silly designs or white granny panties?  I object!  I loudly, emphatically, enthusiastically object!  Who's with me?

"No trunks please" by Gerbil - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 
via Wikimedia Commons 
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:No_trunks_please.JPG#/media/
File:No_trunks_please.JPG

While we're on the subject of what really chaps my hide (pun intended), what's up with women's sneakers?  Why are they always covered in (or at least accented with) pink or purple or teal or coral?  Why is coral even allowed to be a color? Blech!  It's as if athletic shoe designers feel the need to emphasize the delicate gender of tennis shoes; as if women will go without gym shoes entirely if they aren't feminine enough.  Gross.  Have they forgotten our beloved Keds or our simple Reeboks of days gone by?  Did we not buy enough of them?  Have we not revived them at least once or twice? Now when I go sneaker shopping, it feels like a clown school costuming session.

Image Courtesy of Gratisography/Ryan McGuire

Dear shoemakers, I don't feel the need to draw attention to my running shoes.  I don't need flattering compliments on my kicks.  Nor do I want my feet to look like I ran through a puddle of toxic radiation.  I simply want solid colored tennis shoes dammit - and not Velcro strapped nursing shoes either.  And NO I don't want to buy them online.  I want to walk out of the shoe store with them under my arm while wearing my solid black comfy underwear that I buy in bulk.  Is that too much to ask?!  I'm asking anyway...

Are We Alone?

People like to talk definitively.  Wikipedia has empowered us.  We earthlings can speak on practically any subject and even spew valid facts after just a spot of research.  Library?  Pshaw!  Where am I going with this you ask?  If you read the title, you may have guessed that I’m going to tell you that aliens exist.   Your guess would be semi-accurate.  I’m going to tell you that aliens could exist, and we couldn’t know for certain if they didn’t. 

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When we look up into the night sky, we are only seeing 0.000003% of our own galaxy.  Our galaxy (the Milky Way for those of you just joining us) is one of an estimated 500 billion galaxies in the universe.  Add to that the human eye sees less than 1% of the visible spectrum of light.  Visible light is only 2.3% of the whole electromagnetic spectrum, or 0.0035% on a linear scale.  That’s fancy science talk for ‘humans can’t see very much of what can be seen’.  See?

The technologies we’ve discovered and developed to help us see what's invisible to the naked eye are relatively new in the grand scheme of it all.  The median age of terrestrial planets in our galaxy is about one billion years older than the age of the Earth.  Earthlings are infantile compared to what’s out there.  How could we recognize aliens if we don’t understand their technology?  You don't expect me to get the jokes in a foreign film without subtitles do you?

Image courtesy of Comfreak at Pixabay.com

Thirdly, how do we know aliens want to be seen?  Perhaps Kathleen Madigan was accurate when she joked about Earth being 'the Alabama of the universe'.  Maybe they don’t want to be contacted by us. I mean, look at us!  If aliens are more advanced, wouldn’t it be pretty easy for them to ‘hide’ from us?  We on earth hide all the time.  We have camouflage, stealth technology, cloaking devices, whatever Predator does in those movies...

Finally, Dr. Frank Drake, the founder of SETI (Search for ExtraTerrestrial Intelligence), says that digital technology is ‘hiding’ us from aliens.  We were once surrounded by a huge shell of radiation from analog TV, radio, and radar transmissions.  These signals are vanishing in the wake of digital technology.  We are turning ourselves into white noise in space.  If we ever did knock on an alien’s door, we are now hiding behind the bushes in their front yard.  We are silly stupid juveniles who don't even know what 90% of the universe is made up of. We just named it 'Dark Matter' and moved on.  So, are we alone?  I'm asking...

http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2007-08/1188407794.Ph.r.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2523058/Camouflage-suits-make-wearers-impossible-see.html

http://www.dailygalaxy.com/my_weblog/2010/02/invisible-extraterrestrials-one-of-worlds-leading-physicist-says-they-could-exist-in-forms-we-cant-c.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/7077464/Earth-becoming-invisible-to-aliens.html

Put Down Your Phone Please?!

Image courtesy of Carlos ZGZ at Flickr  

Imagine your phone and your wallet were two separate things.  What would happen if you left your house without your wallet?  What would happen if you left your house without your phone?  Is your answer the same for both questions?  Why or why not?  If you were a mile down the road, would you go back for your phone, knowing it would make you late to wherever you were going?  Do you even have the ability to leave the house without reading a review or posting a status update?  Are you aware that there are apps to help you reduce your phone usage?  Do you believe a person can be addicted to their smartphone?

My answers are: I need my wallet but not my phone, nope, because I’m not addicted, no way, uh huh, sadly yes, and indeed I do.  Technology is grand.  Social media has had a positive impact.  However, we do not need it all day every day. I am so over the smartphone zombies I could run over the smartphone zombies.  Can I?  If you can’t put your phone down long enough to ride somewhere in a car with someone, interact with a cashier, or cross the street, well then you suck!  That’s it.  I’m calling it like I see it.  I see it, because I’m looking at it rather than at my phone.  

Flickr photo by Rob Swystun

Moderation is all I'm saying.  There is a tangible, physical world to look at.  There are people to talk to, dogs to walk, adventures to be had.  Put down your phone, for just a moment each day.  Look at the sky.  Look at people in the eye, or at least in the general face area.  You can tweet about what you saw when you get home.  You may even become more interesting if you shared more of what you actually saw of the world with your own eyes, rather than the mindless drivel you see on your mobile screen.  You could share yourself with another person, IN PERSON!  Gasp!

If you or someone you know has become numb to the world around them because they are too obsessed with their smartphone, please seek help.  There are apps for that: Breakfree, Moment, Checky, or Offtime can assist you.  I also suggest going outdoors (because it’s harder to see the screen), leaving your service coverage area, hypnotherapy, finding a time machine, or simply getting a %*$^ing life.

  

You might even remember some of what happened last week if you reduced the number of meaningless soundbites you intake, and instead read relevant news for a short while each day.  What color was that dress anyway?  How many opinions do you need about something?  Why are we attempting to validate our lives in this way?  Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction.  The world will have a generation of idiots."  How did we become so broken?  I’m asking…

#Unplug  #TechnologyFreeTuesday  #PhoneFreefor5  #Participate



Photo of Pink Man by Carlos ZGZ from Flickr:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/carloszgz/15827689251/in/photolist-q7D3zZ-5TJoyH-bpcFqy-igJihb-bLcHw4-bz2Ff5-aGiFQn-ix6pai-aNEZTr-mXs4KP-bCWuuM-9DTk6K-bvATiE-byGJAh-2FZD-7pWFAX-62dhTS-kBNJm4-drC7KA-bHZ5YZ-5XkyEw-5q8weZ-4jyTZo-23zUX1-4NEYz7-4jyQau-5qcR53-4DhK-6UyKrK-8cKY9j-5Dj6pT-2pVKv2-aFRe2H-sb2arN-ejUAZx-2pVKqx-mPe7rH-rGqXfi-aiEnz3-8ambTW-aMUuKv-n1Sbpp-hs6NFs-iLLSFB-jBgRqU-4VBoom-5UAi8m-x9uiV-x9u7H-x9tU9
Photo by Rob Swystun of monument of Ukrainian poet Taras Hryhorovych Shevchenko (1814-1861):
https://www.flickr.com/photos/rob_swystun/17178667812/in/photolist-sb2arN-ejUAZx-2pVKqx-mPe7rH-rGqXfi-aiEnz3-8ambTW-aMUuKv-n1Sbpp-hs6NFs-jBgRqU-4VBoom-5UAi8m-x9uiV-x9u7H-x9tU9-rUmKui-2YEMYM-2YKd3L-s6bDDZ-bx9YgA-naPaJP-dW3As9-aGTj-hocczq-hobKm4-rN3e6i-t7KQ22-6eVbEj-tGp8Tj-2kW6Go-2kVNDU-6cqvif-e6Uwzz-rthfVG-pRQZrj-q9kQ7W-pqyfX6-7vxTv7-rAxPUK-bUxRRd-aZ939x-bUxRg7-akaFuR-4FYRxy-brtjse-jAhx62-ocBc1y-pj6Rvb-c4cVC7

What Don't You Know?

Image from page 317 of "The brain as an organ of mind" (1896) Identifier: brainasorganofmi00bast
 Title: The brain as an organ of mind Year: 1896 (1890s) Authors: Bastian, H. Charlton

Knowing something means nothing.  Sharing something means everything.  It takes two people to truly know something. This is because one person obtaining new knowledge changes nothing.  The magic happens when the carrier of the new knowledge or idea passes it on to another person.  

Every week I strive to post a new blog entry.  I do this in the hopes that one person laughs or two people learn.  Two heads are better than one, unless of course they share a body. Seriously though, how futile would a secret single person mission to Mars be?  How evil to cure yourself alone of an incurable disease?  Would we love Ben's ice cream if there was no Jerry?  

The one exception to this rule of course would be invisibility.  If one person discovered how to make themselves invisible, they could singularly affect the world.  However, if the discovery died with them, the impact would be significantly reduced. So you see, sharing is caring.

Image Courtesy of FreeMediaGoo.com

Invisibility aside, science, medicine, arts, and the humanities all require a second mind to be validated or even fully experienced.  If someone reinvents the wheel, they'd better share it with the rest of us or it means nothing.  We need each other - as a species.  That's my latest discovery.  Pass it on.

How much more do CEOs make than their employees?

Remember when you were a kid in school and your teacher adamantly told you that it was necessary to learn this excruciating process called mathematics because you would eventually apply it to your adult life?  Fast forward to you sitting in your boss’s office receiving your annual smack-in-the-face wage increase.  Here we are in the middle of a minimum wage debate with presidential campaigners talking about the earnings of CEO’s and hedge fund managers, and you get to go home and tell your spouse about the so-called generosity of your employer.  It's time to dust off the old abacus.

"Kugleramme". Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Kugleramme.jpg#/media/File:Kugleramme.jpg

I work a 9ish to 5ish for a large U.S. corporation.  The CEO of that corporation makes (let’s round it out to) 18.5 million dollars a year.  I, like most people, earn remarkably less.  This got me thinking…  How much more does the average CEO make than the average American worker?  Others have done the math, but like teacher always said, you have to show your work.  I hope you’ve been stretching because we’re about to crunch some numbers!

Let’s say the CEO is an overachiever and works 60 hours a week, while the average employee works 40 hours a week.  I’m being generous, because my company ‘encourages’ full-time workers to work 39 hours a week with a one hour buffer for early arrivals or late departures.  In other words, they schedule us for 39 hours and expect us to only work 39 hours a week, robbing us of four hours of pay per month.  Arg!  Let’s also assume that everyone gets the benefit of a full-time position, and enjoys the added perk of paid vacation, receiving pay for all 52 weeks of the year.  Finally, let’s enter a world where all the employees of the company earn $15 per hour for an annual salary of $31,200.  What a wonderful company this must be!

If our CEO is also paid for all 52 weeks in a year, he earns approximately $5900 an hour.  That's right, $15 vs $5900.  Whoa.  But okay, that’s not greed, that’s just healthy stock market returns, proving that shareholders approve of what a great job the CEO is doing.  That seems fair?

The average worker in my scenario at $15 an hour is earning 25¢ a minute, while the CEO is making $98 a minute.  Sixty seconds of work for a worker might buy a phone call, while one second of work for the CEO could buy a fairly substantial sandwich from any dollar menu in town.

Now let’s really blow our minds.  The state of Washington currently has the highest minimum wage at $9.47 an hour.  This translates to 16¢ a minute.  The CEO makes $98 a minute, while the average worker earns 16¢ in the same amount of time.  My mind is blown.  How ‘bout yours?  Another thing I noticed is that when you break down the numbers, it doesn’t seem like it would be all that painful to increase your workers’ wages from 16¢ to 25¢ a minute.  Depending on the number of employees working for the corporation and the number of locations, branches or offices, the additional cost per item or service could be almost negligible.  Additionally, the CEO could take a smaller earning, still live well, and reduce the cost increase incurred by paying workers a living wage.  Dan Price has done it. 

Some may read this and reply with a ‘Trickle up Poverty’ remark, or some other such nonsense about lazy people who want something for nothing.  The truth is that the average American needs a bit more, while the kind folks in charge could do with a bit less.  Hillary Clinton can indeed be wealthy and fight for the financially struggling.  Saying she can’t is like saying I can’t march for Ferguson because I’m white.  Puh-lease!  Besides, doesn’t a rising tide lift all boats?  I’m asking…

More fun with numbers:

Gravity Payments CEO takes 90% pay cut to give workers huge raise

A Wal-Mart worker making $9 an hour would have to work 2.8 million hours to match the CEO’s pay

Hillary Bashes the Rich, But How Many Millions Does She Have?

Would Walmart’s Prices Spike if They Paid Their Employees More? 

What Are the Top 7 Reasons Why We Love Star Wars?

How is it that we never tire of Star Wars?  What is it about this franchise that keeps us not only interested, but actively obsessed?  I'm asking you, Gen Clever...  Give me seven reasons why the moment the second teaser trailer for The Force Awakens hit the Internet, our hashtags, profile pics, and social media statuses immediately became Star Wars themed.  

Image courtesy of koratmember at FreeDigialPhotos.net

1.  The Force.  The Force is the thing that other space movies and adventure franchises lack.  Love and skill will only get a young hero so far.  The Force is that element of potential we all 'search our feelings' to find.  The Force is why I take T’ai Chi classes.  The Force is to be respected and feared, like fire.  Fire can warm us and light our way, but fire also burns and destroys.  The Force is basically G-O-D to a Star Wars fan. 

2.  Lightsabers.  Obi-Wan said it best: "This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster. A more elegant weapon for a more civilized age."  Lightsabers cut, burn, melt, stab, deflect, and remove any pesky appendage that might get in the way.  They are of the Force, and in order to be used masterfully, require an intimate understanding of the Force and also perhaps the time and skill to complete the Lightsaber Building 101 course presumably taught at the Jedi Academy.  While some (Han Solo) would say "ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side", if you can weild a lightsaber, you'll never have to worry about someone sneaking up on you in the dark.

3.  The sounds that space makes.  The ships, the lasers, the droids, the creatures, and the lightsabers clashing create an endless happy dance for our ears.  Whether it’s a John Williams Overture, or the Doppler Effect brilliantly generated by sound engineers, Star Wars sounds are phenomenal and unlike any other!  They are also unlike the sounds of actual space, which would make for a terrible waste of surround sound!

Artwork by Akira Yashiki

4.  The ships.  Star Wars has an exhausting array of spaceships. Small, large, fast, deadly, we got ‘em.  Live on a ship, blow up a ship, infiltrate a ship, hide a ship, or race a ship. The Millennium Falcon is the Mack Truck of ships; a little mud on the tires and a driver that’s all heart underneath the scruff.  Meanwhile the Empire’s Star Destroyers are more sterile than a hospital clean room.  I’m in a long term ship with these ships.  I couldn't help it even if I wanted to.

Image Courtesy of FreeMediaGoo.com

5.  The Clothes.  Stay with me.  Not the hair, the clothes!  Robes and tunics are awesome.  Hooded robes are even more awesome!  Somewhere between a robe and a kimono, we have the samurai-like apparel that Jedi Knights wear.  There are also capes and boots.  CAPES AND BOOTS!  No one in Star Wars wears flashy colors or silly patterns, (with Padme Amidala being the occasional exception).  We all wanted to Cosplay Star Wars before Cosplay was even a thing we had heard of.     

 6.  Bad guys that are SO GOOD.  We suffered through some terrible cinema knowing that our devotion would later be repaid.  We love watching Anakin go Darth.  We love to hate on Jabba the Hutt.  We fear the Crimson clad Imperial Guard, and they’re just the Emperor’s lackeys!  They've got nothing on the Emperor himself.  Not to mention Boba Fett, Grand Moff Tarkin and all those 'wretched scum' at Mos Eisley…  What’s not to love to hate?

7.  Droids Droids Droids!  You need expertise?  There’s a droid for that.  If you ever find yourself trapped in a trash compactor with three of your closest friends, you’d better hope you have a droid as part of your posse.  In fact, R2-D2 saved the day more times than Yoda says ‘hmm’.  And let us not forget that it was C-3PO who convinced Luke to encourage his uncle to purchase R2-D2 from the Jawas after Owen initially decided R2 was 'not the droid he was looking for' and chose R5-D4 instead.   How much teddy bear fluff would be on the Endor forest floor if R2 had never come into Luke’s possession, had his restraining bolt removed, and fatefully led Luke to old Ben Kenobi?  Think about that for a minute.

It is these seven reasons (and infinitely more) that keep us watching, reading, listening, repeating, purchasing, and lovingly incorporating the Star Wars universe into our own.  It is these reasons that allow us to forgive and/or overlook characters like Jar Jar Binks, or the controversial Greedo scene ‘reshoot’.  This franchise has changed us, become a part of us, and for these reasons we will celebrate every May the Fourth and spend our hard-earned duckets to go see The Force Awakens at the theater on opening night, and probably several nights thereafter.  May the Force be with us, always.

I own no rights to Star Wars, the franchise, it's merchandise, Disney, or anyone or thing that has to do with it.  The text written here is my own original thought, work, and opinion, shared with love. Photos in this post belong to their original owners (not me) and are captioned with appropriate credit and used with permission.  No copyright infringement intended.  I only offer my humble rambling opinion.  Thank you.