How Many Parents Do You Really Have?

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You may think that most people have no more than two parents.  Could you possibly be wrong?  I'm asking...

Perhaps you have one or more voluntary parents.  What constitutes a voluntary parent you ask?

A voluntary parent is an adult that loves and nurtures a child (or a grown-up child) with which they share no blood relation.

They are adults that care for us out of compassion, rather than obligation.

Sometimes the voluntary parent holds a potentially meaningless title or prefix like ‘step’ or ‘in-law’.  These mean different things to different people and often require an explanation of the relationship. 

The voluntary parent does things without thanks and with acceptance of the fact that you’ll probably never send them a birthday card.

The voluntary parent can teach you a lot about yourself because they see you more objectively than perhaps the rest of your family does.

The voluntary parent rarely plays the guilt card.

You probably won’t become a duplicate of your voluntary parent as you age, but you will miss them fiercely between visits, sometimes even more than your ‘real’ parents.

The bonds between you and your voluntary parents are very special and cannot be broken by time or distance.

So here’s to the parents who are just as important as... your parents.  Here’s to the Steps, the Aunts and Uncles, and yes, the In-laws.  Thanks for the love, the laughs, and the lessons.  I cherish all of you.

I miss you, Dad!