Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Can I Not be the Grown-up in the Room?

Do you ever wish some pseudo more grown-up version of yourself would show up in a responsible looking ensemble to be whatever kind of adult the situation needs?  I don't clearly remember but I imagine that when I was a kid I had the typical drive to grow up, make the rules, and run the show.  It looked like so much fun... driving, paying for stuff, staying up late, reaching the top shelf.  Gee, that looked swell.

So here I am now in all my full grown-ness drowning in the tiny minutia of chores that end up on a 'To Do' list that never seems too done.  I have so much to do, the only way I can keep track of it all is to write it down, like I have to trick myself into doing what I gotta do. Sheesh.


Image courtesy of jesadaphorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Friday afternoon I receive a call from the dentist's office.  My insurance company is dragging their feet paying for a root canal I had five months ago.  Add that delightful phone call to my list.  Next up: yard work!  I do enjoy most yard work and I think of how lovely it will be to have the work behind me so the fam can enjoy the yard this weekend.  Thirty minutes into my pleasure, the weedwacker quits working.  Ah well... I continue on with hedge clippers.  Not as fast, but my fence line looks pristine!  Hey, what's that pile of dirt under the tree over there?  Apparently, the mole colony I've been exorcising has returned. Okay, okay, they are a part of nature and a part of living in the wilds of Oregon.  I go to my deck box to get the repellent that doesn't really work but I can't kill the creatures no matter how ugly they are.  Oh my god!  There's a snake in there.  Really?!  What next?!  I need backup.


Image courtesy of geralt at pixabay.com

I go for help only to discover that I'm locked out of the house.  This is a true story kids.  I go to retrieve the hidden key from I can't tell you where, and the neighbors cat darts out from under the house.  Critters around the house are one thing.  Critters under it are quite another horror story.  It is at this point that I give up.  I throw in the proverbial towel and head indoors.  

Once safely inside I refer to my list.  I decide to assemble the new table I got from IKEA last week.  I realize at this point I'm tempting the fates.  Surprise! (or not) One of the legs has a manufacturing defect.  I may be getting screwed today, but this table leg sure isn't.  I spend the next two hours pondering a couple things.  Is it worth the risk of a highway ride to the Returns/Parts department? Also, are the fish tacos I want for dinner from the Pacific ocean and potentially toxic from the tsunami fallout?

Adulthood is fun but does not look like the brochure at all.  After all that I decided to scope Craigslist for a DeLorean or an old phone booth.  Anyone else on board?  I'm asking...



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