Where Are the Robots?

Image courtesy of blickpixel at pixabay.com

Let us enter the world of the anthropophobic.  Anthropophobia is the pathological fear of people or human company. We have all suffered moments of this and I will from this point on lovingly refer to the condition as people-phobic and its sufferers as people-phobes.  Again, I do this lovingly and without judgment.  I simply fear that if I continue to write anthropophobic, this blog will be a drag to read and my point will be lost.  Not to mention I cannot type the word very quickly and my spell-check doesn’t even recognize the silly word.  Silly ‘Word’.

Where was I?  Oh yes, people-phobes.  People-phobes cheered at the advent of the Self-Checkout, the pizza ordering app, the sign-waving-mannequin, movie and television streaming, and sweet sweet online shopping… for the most part.  I say ‘for the most part’ because there remains a downside to all this bliss.  The beloved people-phobes’ pizza and smiley packages are still delivered by dreaded humans.  

More frightening still is the latte dilemma.  Not the ‘oh geez this costs what?!’ dilemma, but the having to activate my legs, bike, and/or car to navigate to the coffee shop, shack, or cart because I lack the skills or equipment to make a latte in the comfort and safety of my own home dilemma.  Forgive me.  Sometimes I over-identify…

In 1964 Isaac Asimov wrote an essay for The New York Times about what the world may be like in 2014 with all of the shiny new technology that would be accessible to the masses.  “Mankind will have become largely a race of machine tenders” he said.  In the actual year 2014, Oxford researchers agreed with Asimov, saying “Soon, all that will be left for human beings will be non-routine, creative work.”  I call bull hockey!  WHERE ARE THE ROBOTS?!

Image courtesy of Flickr gif 'mi robot' by trinity ass.

The highway billboards here in Portland are telling me that I can now order and pay for my Starbucks latte from my smartphone.  People-phobes rejoice!  Add to that Taco Bell, Chili’s, Panera Bread, and Mickey D’s have or soon will have similar apps to effectively reduce human to human contact.  I say that’s not good enough!!  People-phobes deserve better.  Let’s kick it up a notch.  A Roomba instead of a maid is nice, but it’s no Rosie.  Where is the drone mail delivery service?  Why can’t my pizza come in a self-driving KITT-like car that will accept payment from my R2 unit and when I’m done, Jinx can deposit the box in the recycling bin that will be emptied weekly by Conky 2000 and his crew?  Today’s secret word is "obsolete". 

One final note: Cyborgs and Androids need not apply.  I don’t think Dot Matrix would make for good tech support and Terminators are pretty iffy.  When my waffle maker suddenly develops a case of ‘the feels’ and I have to deactivate it, I don’t want it to do anything creepy like wink at me.  Three monotone cheers for people who don’t need people!

Read the references of the quoted stuff if you please:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stowe-boyd/robots-jobs-purpose-humans_b_5689813.html

http://greatideas.people.com/2014/07/22/starbucks-app-order-ahead-coffee/   

I own no rights to any of the robots or the franchises mentioned, their merchandise, or anyone or thing that has to do with them.  The text written here is my own original thought, work, and opinion, shared with love. Photos in this post belong to their original owners (not me). No copyright infringement intended.  I only offer my humble rambling opinion.  Thank you.