Is America a Hypocrisy?

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I feel like I’m missing something.  Something BIG.  Where was I on the day that everyone got the bucket loads of whatever I didn’t.  Was it that day I went to the DMV?  Did I miss an emergency broadcast that was an actual emergency, followed by very important instructions that I never got?  This is the only explanation I can come up with.  I’ve Googled my brains out and I either missed something, or half the country is now legally insane.  Seriously.

Most conservatives identify as Christians.  Christians are supposed to help the needy.  But giving people affordable healthcare is bad?  It is bad because it comes from the government and the government should be small.  The government shouldn’t be a giant babysitter that takes care of us and tells us what to do.  We should take care of ourselves.  Screw your neighbor.  Why should you help them?  If you help them, it will only make you weaker.  They should help themselves, dammit.  If they can’t make it on their own, they must be doing something wrong!  United we stand?  I am totally confident that Jesus would agree with the conservatives.  Or am I missing something?

People believe that legislation based on religious beliefs is justifiable, even though the First Amendment expressly forbids it.  The same people flip out about their Second Amendment right to bear arms.  People simultaneously cling to AND ignore the Constitution.  Is THAT what makes America so great?

People believe that homosexuals are to blame for the decline in American family values.  I suppose all the heterosexually explicit content on television, pornography, exotic dancers, strip clubs, prostitutes and marital cheating websites are all a part of the dastardly homosexual agenda.  The gays are clearly responsible for all of the straight people fornicating everywhere they shouldn’t be…

 

While we are on the subject, if under ANY circumstances I end up pregnant, it should be decided by an elected official (who I may or may not have voted for) and is not my family member, medical provider, or church affiliate, whether I should carry this child to term?  I must have blacked out and forgotten that women are nothing more than baby ovens.  It’s okay though, because I know the generous men in charge will be happy to assist me with diapers and groceries because I can’t afford groceries, diapers, transportation and daycare on my current salary, which definitely should NOT be higher than it is.  If I get paid more to do my job, the terrorists win.

Of course there are grants and scholarships available to me, and if I wasn’t such a lazy freeloader I could go back to school, finish my degree and get a better job that pays more money so that I can afford to feed and raise my child without mooching off the government.  People do it all the time right?!  Great. Who is going to watch my baby after I’ve worked a full shift so I can study?  Who is going to watch my baby while I go to classes at night and on the weekends?  Hopefully whoever it is will take lots of pictures because I won’t have time to be there since my education is far more important than my daughter or son’s childhood.  But wait, isn’t that putting the mother’s needs before the child’s?  So why did I have this baby?  No, no, no I am working for my child’s future, not mine!  My life no longer matters.  I am nothing but a baby factory.  If only marriages were still arranged so I could stay home with my kid while my husband goes out to earn a living much much more monetarily sound than I EVER could! 

On to a different subject.  Legalizing marijuana is going to ruin everything!  I mean just look at the influx of money into Colorado, Washington, and Oregon.  That cannot be good.  Money can fix problems.  Money can pay for education. People will be driving recklessly with their children in the car to 7-Eleven to buy Cheetos and Beef Jerky!!!  If we don't come up with a solution, this will surely cost us jobs.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we are in so much DANGER!!!!!!!

The 2016 Presidential election.  That’s it.  I am definitely missing something on this one.

I realize it is bold of me to admit that I’m confused by a lot of what’s going on.  Maybe the liberal media is mind controlling me.  Maybe if Sunday School was graded, I would have failed.  Maybe when I was a 19-year-old kid I could have made better decisions and stayed in school and finished my degree and I would be a part of the 1% now and wouldn’t have to be concerned about petty problems like mass shootings and GMOs. 

Has something gone terribly wrong?  Was America dropped on it's head as a baby, or is it just me?  I’m asking…

How much more do CEOs make than their employees?

Remember when you were a kid in school and your teacher adamantly told you that it was necessary to learn this excruciating process called mathematics because you would eventually apply it to your adult life?  Fast forward to you sitting in your boss’s office receiving your annual smack-in-the-face wage increase.  Here we are in the middle of a minimum wage debate with presidential campaigners talking about the earnings of CEO’s and hedge fund managers, and you get to go home and tell your spouse about the so-called generosity of your employer.  It's time to dust off the old abacus.

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I work a 9ish to 5ish for a large U.S. corporation.  The CEO of that corporation makes (let’s round it out to) 18.5 million dollars a year.  I, like most people, earn remarkably less.  This got me thinking…  How much more does the average CEO make than the average American worker?  Others have done the math, but like teacher always said, you have to show your work.  I hope you’ve been stretching because we’re about to crunch some numbers!

Let’s say the CEO is an overachiever and works 60 hours a week, while the average employee works 40 hours a week.  I’m being generous, because my company ‘encourages’ full-time workers to work 39 hours a week with a one hour buffer for early arrivals or late departures.  In other words, they schedule us for 39 hours and expect us to only work 39 hours a week, robbing us of four hours of pay per month.  Arg!  Let’s also assume that everyone gets the benefit of a full-time position, and enjoys the added perk of paid vacation, receiving pay for all 52 weeks of the year.  Finally, let’s enter a world where all the employees of the company earn $15 per hour for an annual salary of $31,200.  What a wonderful company this must be!

If our CEO is also paid for all 52 weeks in a year, he earns approximately $5900 an hour.  That's right, $15 vs $5900.  Whoa.  But okay, that’s not greed, that’s just healthy stock market returns, proving that shareholders approve of what a great job the CEO is doing.  That seems fair?

The average worker in my scenario at $15 an hour is earning 25¢ a minute, while the CEO is making $98 a minute.  Sixty seconds of work for a worker might buy a phone call, while one second of work for the CEO could buy a fairly substantial sandwich from any dollar menu in town.

Now let’s really blow our minds.  The state of Washington currently has the highest minimum wage at $9.47 an hour.  This translates to 16¢ a minute.  The CEO makes $98 a minute, while the average worker earns 16¢ in the same amount of time.  My mind is blown.  How ‘bout yours?  Another thing I noticed is that when you break down the numbers, it doesn’t seem like it would be all that painful to increase your workers’ wages from 16¢ to 25¢ a minute.  Depending on the number of employees working for the corporation and the number of locations, branches or offices, the additional cost per item or service could be almost negligible.  Additionally, the CEO could take a smaller earning, still live well, and reduce the cost increase incurred by paying workers a living wage.  Dan Price has done it. 

Some may read this and reply with a ‘Trickle up Poverty’ remark, or some other such nonsense about lazy people who want something for nothing.  The truth is that the average American needs a bit more, while the kind folks in charge could do with a bit less.  Hillary Clinton can indeed be wealthy and fight for the financially struggling.  Saying she can’t is like saying I can’t march for Ferguson because I’m white.  Puh-lease!  Besides, doesn’t a rising tide lift all boats?  I’m asking…

More fun with numbers:

Gravity Payments CEO takes 90% pay cut to give workers huge raise

A Wal-Mart worker making $9 an hour would have to work 2.8 million hours to match the CEO’s pay

Hillary Bashes the Rich, But How Many Millions Does She Have?

Would Walmart’s Prices Spike if They Paid Their Employees More?