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| Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com |
I feel like I’m missing something. Something BIG. Where was I on the day that everyone got the bucket
loads of whatever I didn’t. Was it that
day I went to the DMV? Did I miss an
emergency broadcast that was an actual emergency, followed by very important instructions
that I never got? This is the only
explanation I can come up with. I’ve Googled
my brains out and I either missed something, or half the country is now legally
insane. Seriously.
Most conservatives identify as Christians. Christians are supposed to help the needy. But giving people affordable healthcare is
bad? It is bad because it comes from the
government and the government should be small.
The government shouldn’t be a giant babysitter that takes care of us and
tells us what to do. We should take care
of ourselves. Screw your neighbor. Why should you help them? If you help them, it will only make you
weaker. They should help themselves,
dammit. If they can’t make it on their
own, they must be doing something wrong!
United we stand? I am totally
confident that Jesus would agree with the conservatives. Or am I missing something?
People believe that legislation based on religious beliefs
is justifiable, even though the First Amendment expressly forbids it. The same people flip out about their Second
Amendment right to bear arms. People simultaneously
cling to AND ignore the Constitution. Is
THAT what makes America so great?
People believe that homosexuals are to blame for the decline
in American family values. I
suppose all the heterosexually explicit content on television, pornography, exotic
dancers, strip clubs, prostitutes and marital cheating websites are all a part
of the dastardly homosexual agenda. The gays are clearly responsible for all of the straight people fornicating everywhere
they shouldn’t be…
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While we are on the subject, if under ANY circumstances I end
up pregnant, it should be decided by an elected official (who I may or may not
have voted for) and is not my family member, medical provider, or church
affiliate, whether I should carry this child to term? I must have blacked out and forgotten that
women are nothing more than baby ovens.
It’s okay though, because I know the generous men in charge will be
happy to assist me with diapers and groceries because I can’t afford groceries,
diapers, transportation and daycare on my current salary, which definitely
should NOT be higher than it is. If I
get paid more to do my job, the terrorists win.
Of course there are grants and scholarships available to me,
and if I wasn’t such a lazy freeloader I could go back to school, finish my
degree and get a better job that pays more money so that I can afford to feed
and raise my child without mooching off the government. People do it all the time right?! Great. Who is going to watch my baby after I’ve
worked a full shift so I can study? Who
is going to watch my baby while I go to classes at night and on the weekends? Hopefully whoever it is will take lots of
pictures because I won’t have time to be there since my education is far more
important than my daughter or son’s childhood.
But wait, isn’t that putting the mother’s needs before the child’s? So why did I have this baby? No, no, no I am working for my child’s
future, not mine! My life no longer
matters. I am nothing but a baby
factory. If only marriages were still
arranged so I could stay home with my kid while my husband goes out to earn a
living much much more monetarily sound than I EVER could!
On to a different subject.
Legalizing marijuana is going to ruin everything! I mean just look at the influx of money into
Colorado, Washington, and Oregon. That
cannot be good. Money can fix
problems. Money can pay for education. People will be driving recklessly with their children in the car to
7-Eleven to buy Cheetos and Beef Jerky!!! If we don't come up with a solution, this will surely cost us jobs. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we are in so much DANGER!!!!!!!
The 2016 Presidential election. That’s it.
I am definitely missing something on this one.
I realize it is bold of me to admit that I’m confused by a
lot of what’s going on. Maybe the
liberal media is mind controlling me.
Maybe if Sunday School was graded, I would have failed. Maybe when I was a 19-year-old kid I could
have made better decisions and stayed in school and finished my degree and I
would be a part of the 1% now and wouldn’t have to be concerned about petty
problems like mass shootings and GMOs.
Has something gone terribly wrong? Was America dropped on it's head as a baby, or is it just me? I’m asking…
