A Beginner's Mini Survival Guide to Breast Cancer

Photo Courtesy of karosieben @ Pixabay 

1)  Wait Up!!  The first thing to know when your "ladies" stage a mutiny (pun intended) is that you will be gifted with many opportunities... to wait.  You will wait in rooms for your name to be called.  You will wait for appointments to be scheduled.  You will wait for bills to come in (and then to stop coming in).  You will wait for test results, wait for remission, wait on pins & needles for possible recurrence; and you will inevitably wait with the rest of us for a cure.  So hurry up, it's time to wait!

2)  Your Boobs WILL be Televised.  Okay, not literally.  But at some point in the process you will feel like your breasts are public domain.  Your girls will be pushed, stuck, squished, drawn on, cut, fried, photographed, sewn, taped, and squished again.  You will be naked (from the waist up at least) for the better part of this journey.  So don't be coy Roy, this is just the deal.  You should also know that everyone's hands are cold all the time.

Photo Courtesy of The Noun Project

3)  There is no Road Map.  Instead, there is a dot-to-dot picture without any numbers that you and your care team will eventually fill in.  Maybe you'll draw your spirit animal, or your kid, or your favorite nurse!  You will learn quickly that every woman is different, as is every lump.  In the beginning it all sounds like crazy talk.

Genetic testing?  Is that like the SAT's?

Radiation?  They're sending me to space?!

Sentinel node what?

Reconstruction?  Like a boob job?!

Hormone therapy?!  They're sending my rack to a shrink???

A lot of times, the next step is determined by the last one.  Sometimes chemo is first, sometimes last, and sometimes not at all.  Before you run out of the room screaming 'IT'S NOT A TUMAHH!', know that there is treasure at the end - YOU!  

Photo Courtesy of marijana1 @ Pixabay

4)  People are Strange.  When you come out and reveal your C-word diagnosis, people won't react the way you'd expect.  Some will swoop in to save you.  Some will back away slowly while avoiding eye contact.  Some of the swoopers will fade away as the journey goes on.  You will be surprised.  You won't be alone.  If you feel like you're flying solo, reach out!  There are support groups online now that you can attend at home in your pajamas!  In my experience, the more people I told the more support I felt.  Let people jump in the ring with you.  This is a big fight after all.

5)  Buttons and Zippers are Friends.  With all the shirt-off-gown-on action happening, you may as well make friends with easy fasteners.  Some of the procedures you'll endure will limit your arm use anyway.  Trust me.  Don't put on your favorite hoodie just yet, because you might be taking it off with a pair of scissors.

6)  This Is Your Life!  Cancer does not define you.  You can wear your survivor badge under your clothes if you want to.  But you will have to live with checkups, medicine, scars, and more, forever.  FOREVER.  It's not a bad thing; just a thing I couldn't leave out.

Photo Courtesy of monsters4sale @ flickr

7)  Celebrate!  When you hear those words 'cancer-free' for the first time, that is your authorization to happy dance.  You did it!  You made it!  You beat it!  You earned it!  Finally.  Honor those who lost their battle by celebrating your victory.  Get that tattoo. Go on that vacation.  Buy those designer shoes if that's your thing.  Exhale.  Say thank you.  Recite your name and date of birth one more time, and proceed to party on my warrior sister.  

      And if ya don't know, now ya know!

A Beginner's Mini Survival Guide to Breast Cancer

Photo Courtesy of karosieben @ Pixabay 

1)  Wait Up!!  The first thing to know when your ladies stage a mutiny (pun intended) is that you will be gifted with many opportunities... to wait.  You will wait in rooms for your name to be called.  You will wait for appointments to be scheduled.  You will wait for bills to come in (and then to stop coming in).  You will wait for test results, wait for remission, wait on pins & needles for possible recurrence; and you will inevitably wait with the rest of us for a cure.  So hurry up, it's time to wait!

2)  Your Boobs WILL be Televised.  Okay, not literally.  But at some point in the process you will feel like your breasts are public domain.  Your girls will be pushed, stuck, squished, drawn on, cut, fried, photographed, sewn, taped, and squished again.  You will be naked, from the waist up at least, for the better part of this journey.  So don't be coy Roy, this is just the deal.  You should also know that everyone's hands are cold all the time.

Photo Courtesy of The Noun Project

3)  There is no Road Map.  Instead, there is a dot-to-dot picture without any numbers that you and your care team will eventually fill in.  Maybe you'll draw your spirit animal, or your kid, or your favorite nurse!  You will learn quickly that every woman is different, as is every lump.  In the beginning it all sounds like crazy talk.

Genetic testing?  Is that like the SAT's?

Radiation?  They're sending me to space?!

Sentinel node what?

Reconstruction?  Like a boob job?!

Hormone therapy?!  They're sending my rack to a shrink???

A lot of times, the next step is determined by the last one.  Sometimes chemo is first, sometimes last, and sometimes not at all.  Before you run out of the room screaming 'IT'S NOT A TUMAHH!', know that there is treasure at the end - YOU!  

Photo Courtesy of marijana1 @ Pixabay

4)  People are Strange.  When you come out and reveal your C-word diagnosis, people won't react the way you'd expect.  Some will swoop in to save you.  Some will back away slowly while avoiding eye contact.  Some of the swoopers will fade away as the journey goes on.  You will be surprised.  You won't be alone.  If you feel like you're flying solo, reach out!  There are support groups online now that you can attend at home in your pajamas!  In my experience, the more people I told the more support I felt.  Let people jump in the ring with you.  This is a big fight after all.

5)  Buttons and Zippers are Friends.  With all the shirt-off-gown-on action happening, you may as well make friends with easy fasteners.  Some of the procedures you'll endure will limit your arm use anyway.  Trust me.  Don't put on your favorite hoodie just yet, because you might be taking it off with a pair of scissors.

6)  This Is Your Life!  Cancer does not define you.  You can wear your survivor badge under your clothes if you want to.  But you will have to live with checkups, medicine, scars, and more, forever.  FOREVER.  It's not a bad thing; just a thing I couldn't leave out.

Photo Courtesy of monsters4sale @ flickr

7)  Celebrate!  When you hear those words 'cancer-free' for the first time, that is your authorization to happy dance.  You did it!  You made it!  You beat it!  You earned it!  Finally.  Honor those who lost their battle by celebrating your victory.  Get that tattoo. Go on that vacation.  Buy those designer shoes if that's your thing.  Exhale.  Say thank you.  Recite your name and date of birth one more time, and party on my warrior sister.  

      And if ya don't know, now ya know!

My Apology Letter to America

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

My fellow Americans,

I am very sorry.  To the people in the United States and elsewhere with beautiful brown skin that are now facing more and uglier discrimination than ever, I’m so sorry. To the Muslim people who live here in fear of hatred, I’m sorry. To the white-looking citizens who speak with a foreign accent and are ridiculed by the ignorant, I’m sorry.  To the families that may lose their healthcare because a few who can afford everything refuse to help the many who can afford nothing, I’m sorry. 

To the LGBTQ youth who consider, or god forbid, commit suicide because the progress we’ve made may soon be erased, I’m so terribly sorry.   To the rape victims who may be assaulted because we choose leaders who laugh at the very idea of consent, I’m sorry.  To the pregnant teen who must choose between raising a child while still a child, or giving up that child because the doors have been locked to other choices, I shed tears for you and your baby. To the innocents who will die from the bullets of automatic weaponry that shouldn’t be allowed in civilian hands, I beg your families’ forgiveness.  And to the little girl who gives up her dream of becoming President of the United States, not because she doubts her abilities, but because she doubts that her country would ever elect her, I’m truly sorry.

And for the folks celebrating today I’m also incredibly sorry.  I’m sorry that no one has shown you what great actually is. I’m sorry that your view of this country is so pessimistic or limited that you didn’t already see how great we are in so many ways.  I’m sorry that your mentors failed you by not teaching you that kindness and compassion and diversity are the greatest and most valuable aspects of humanity and religion.

Photo courtesy of jclk888 at Pixabay.com

I’m so deeply sorry.  I should have done more… I should have knocked on doors or written another blog or commented on more nonfactual posts and memes on social media.  I should have done more phone surveys or attended a rally or two.  I should have had more conversations in the break room at work or put a bumper sticker on my car or something!  Because now I can’t believe how sorry I am that I didn’t do more.

My heart is broken.  My patriotism is shattered…  Right is wrong. Wrong is right.  Now all I can do is apologize and seek the light.   

(Feel free to share.)

Dump Trump

Image courtesy of Maialisa at Pixabay.com

Mistreatment of women, people of color, immigrants, or people with disabilities is NEVER okay.  This should not be dismissed as 'speaking your mind' or 'locker room talk'. Aggressive mannerisms, foul language, and violent rhetoric should not be excused.  A history of failed business endeavors should not be overlooked.

If you prefer a rich celebrity in his third marriage over a lifelong partner who chose to 'stand by her man' when that man's dishonorable indiscretion came to public light then by all means vote for Trump.  If you prefer vague uninformed discussion and reactionary behavior over diplomacy and experience when it comes to foreign relations, then please give Trump your support.

If PRA email violations with no legal consequence prove to you that a candidate is dishonest and/or above the law (although these email violations have been ongoing for three administrations including GW Bush) and that dishonesty is more disgraceful to you than sexual assault and four draft deferments then certainly Trump is your man.

Leaders make mistakes.  Leaders make mistakes that sometimes cost lives.  You can blame Hillary for Benghazi, just as you can singularly blame Jefferson Davis for the Confederacy losing the Civil War if you so choose to.  

The arguments I hear against Hillary most often are in regards to trustworthiness, guns, and abortion...

Hillary does not want to 'take your guns away'.  Perpetrators carrying out mass shootings do not qualify as "a well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State". Regulating automatic weaponry and encouraging non-lethal police tactics is NOT a 2nd Amendment violation. Requiring licenses and background checks also does NOT violate the 2nd Amendment because these things do not prevent gun ownership.  Regulating the Internet sale of parts and ammunition likewise do not prevent gun ownership and therefore do NOT violate the 2nd Amendment. 

I can't believe how infuriating it is to actually feel the need to spell this out to people!

Should the government decide whether or not to terminate your life support? No?  Then why should the government decide whether or not you are allowed to terminate your pregnancy? Leaving the Supreme Court's decision in tact does not remove your ability to personally be Pro-Life.  You can be anti-abortion and still live in a country that allows individuals to decide for themselves.  America is not a theocracy, meaning the government cannot regulate based on religious views.  (That's what the First Amendment says.)  

If you believe that abortion is murder, then teach that to your children.  Preach that in your church.  Encourage that in your community.  Choose a doctor with views that align with your own.  Teach your boys and girls about consent, body image, gender equality, responsibility, and consequence.  The freedom to chose whether or not a girl carries her rapist's child to term does not affect your relationship with your God.  Period.  You can witness to her.  You can pray for her.  You can offer to adopt the child and pay for its rearing for 18 years. The ramifications of any abortion that is not your own are simply none of your business.  

Iron Wire Fence Image courtesy of worradmu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So there you have it - my view on the election.  Trump is far more dangerous than Hillary could possibly ever be.  Trump is a negative example of a leader and a man.  Trump lacks dignity.  I do not want him in the Oval Office making or preventing decisions for my family and my country.  That is why I signed the petition and that is why I wrote this post.   



#StopHateDumpTrump     #NeverTrump       #Election2016

Bolts or Bullets?

I like to feel safe.  This is one aspect of myself that you could classify as “normal”.  I don’t want to die a horrific death.  I hope my death won’t hurt at all.  I don’t like owies. 

Image courtesy of kerttu at Pixabay.com

In order to feel safe in the world today, many of us are going through Active Shooter Training.  Preparedness would make me feel safe they said.  This training could help me help others they said.  It was necessary they said.  What they didn’t say is that the training may result in crying, shortness of breath, and an overall desire to crawl under a bed and hide.  But hey if school kids can brave this training and worse, I felt capable and furthermore, obligated.

Well, this video that was supposedly going to make me feel safe opened with “you are more likely to be struck by lightning than to encounter an active shooter”.  Really?  Okay.  At first I felt better.  Then I started thinking more critically.  (This is where I usually get into trouble.)  There have been shootings in both a mall I shop in, a school in the town I work in, and a campus in my state.  Twelve people died in those shootings, not including the shooters themselves.  There have only been 2 fatal lightning strikes in Oregon since 1990. 

Okay, okay I know statistics don’t quite work that way.  I admit I failed Statistics in college, but I do know how they don’t work.  The word statistic should be understood as ‘sciencey sounding number digits or percentages that can be both true and used to tell lies’.  That’s right, I took the red pill.

But think about how many times you’ve heard that you’re more likely to get struck by lightning than ___________”.  (Fill in the blank with whatever is pushing your panic button at the time.)

Image courtesy of WKIDESIGN at Pixabay.com

So how true is it that you are more likely to be struck by lightning than to encounter an active shooter? 

Let’s assume we are talking about civilian shooters in public places in the United States, and we are comparing that to the number of fatalities by lightning strike.  After all, according to the NOAA, only 10% of people struck by lightning actually die from it.  I guess that’s why no one is truly afraid of being struck by lightning.

Whether or not lightning strikes twice, the average number of deaths by lightning strike in the U.S. from 2004 to 2013 is 33; or it could be 49 depending on where your numbers come from.  According to the NWS Storm Data, over the last 30 years (1984-2013) the U.S. has averaged 49 reported lightning fatalities per year.

The number of strikes varies from year to year.  Lightning is hard to count, but according to the National Lightning Detection Network (yes, that’s a real thing) there are approximately 20 million cloud-to-ground lightning strikes per year in the U.S.  So yeah, even if 49 whole people die from 20 million lightning bolts, those odds are actually pretty good!

However, according to Scientific American global warming is expected to increase America’s annual lightning strikes by about 12% per degree Celsius.  Scared now?  Don’t be.  One degree Celsius is like 33.8 good ole American degrees so it will be awhile before we notice the extra 10 million annual lightning strikes they’re predicting by the year 2100. 

I’m totally not scared of lightning anymore, and the only training I needed was Google!

So, If I’m more likely to get struck by cuddly lightning than encounter an active shooter, I can sleep easy.

Just to cover all bases though, I read the FBI ‘s “Study of Active Shooter Incidents” report that reports neat statistics like 486 Americans lost their lives in active shooter events from 2000 to 2013.  That’s approximately 37 deaths a year.  

However, if we recalculate the data to reflect only those shootings from ’04 to ’13, the annual number of deaths decreases to 427, thereby increasing our deathtimate to 47 deaths a year.

The FBI report also showed that incidents from 2007 to 2013 increased by 150% over the previous six years.  These statistics don’t even include San Bernardino, Charleston, Roseburg, or any events that happened prior to 2000, ie Columbine.

To clarify, there were 138 active shooter events from 2004 to 2013 according to the FBI and only 427 people died.  In that same timespan there were 180 million lightning strikes, give or take, and 297 people died.  Or maybe 441 people died.  That’s 37 or 47 dead people vs 33 or 49 people a year dying from bullets or lightning bolts.  Maybe we should get better people counters?

So, according to my research and training, 49 people may be less than 37 people but 33 people is more than 37 people. These odds are so good I’m going to wait out the next storm on the golf course.  Who’s with me?! 

Image courtesy of lightningsafety.com

Is America a Hypocrisy?

Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

I feel like I’m missing something.  Something BIG.  Where was I on the day that everyone got the bucket loads of whatever I didn’t.  Was it that day I went to the DMV?  Did I miss an emergency broadcast that was an actual emergency, followed by very important instructions that I never got?  This is the only explanation I can come up with.  I’ve Googled my brains out and I either missed something, or half the country is now legally insane.  Seriously.

Most conservatives identify as Christians.  Christians are supposed to help the needy.  But giving people affordable healthcare is bad?  It is bad because it comes from the government and the government should be small.  The government shouldn’t be a giant babysitter that takes care of us and tells us what to do.  We should take care of ourselves.  Screw your neighbor.  Why should you help them?  If you help them, it will only make you weaker.  They should help themselves, dammit.  If they can’t make it on their own, they must be doing something wrong!  United we stand?  I am totally confident that Jesus would agree with the conservatives.  Or am I missing something?

People believe that legislation based on religious beliefs is justifiable, even though the First Amendment expressly forbids it.  The same people flip out about their Second Amendment right to bear arms.  People simultaneously cling to AND ignore the Constitution.  Is THAT what makes America so great?

People believe that homosexuals are to blame for the decline in American family values.  I suppose all the heterosexually explicit content on television, pornography, exotic dancers, strip clubs, prostitutes and marital cheating websites are all a part of the dastardly homosexual agenda.  The gays are clearly responsible for all of the straight people fornicating everywhere they shouldn’t be…

 

While we are on the subject, if under ANY circumstances I end up pregnant, it should be decided by an elected official (who I may or may not have voted for) and is not my family member, medical provider, or church affiliate, whether I should carry this child to term?  I must have blacked out and forgotten that women are nothing more than baby ovens.  It’s okay though, because I know the generous men in charge will be happy to assist me with diapers and groceries because I can’t afford groceries, diapers, transportation and daycare on my current salary, which definitely should NOT be higher than it is.  If I get paid more to do my job, the terrorists win.

Of course there are grants and scholarships available to me, and if I wasn’t such a lazy freeloader I could go back to school, finish my degree and get a better job that pays more money so that I can afford to feed and raise my child without mooching off the government.  People do it all the time right?!  Great. Who is going to watch my baby after I’ve worked a full shift so I can study?  Who is going to watch my baby while I go to classes at night and on the weekends?  Hopefully whoever it is will take lots of pictures because I won’t have time to be there since my education is far more important than my daughter or son’s childhood.  But wait, isn’t that putting the mother’s needs before the child’s?  So why did I have this baby?  No, no, no I am working for my child’s future, not mine!  My life no longer matters.  I am nothing but a baby factory.  If only marriages were still arranged so I could stay home with my kid while my husband goes out to earn a living much much more monetarily sound than I EVER could! 

On to a different subject.  Legalizing marijuana is going to ruin everything!  I mean just look at the influx of money into Colorado, Washington, and Oregon.  That cannot be good.  Money can fix problems.  Money can pay for education. People will be driving recklessly with their children in the car to 7-Eleven to buy Cheetos and Beef Jerky!!!  If we don't come up with a solution, this will surely cost us jobs.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we are in so much DANGER!!!!!!!

The 2016 Presidential election.  That’s it.  I am definitely missing something on this one.

I realize it is bold of me to admit that I’m confused by a lot of what’s going on.  Maybe the liberal media is mind controlling me.  Maybe if Sunday School was graded, I would have failed.  Maybe when I was a 19-year-old kid I could have made better decisions and stayed in school and finished my degree and I would be a part of the 1% now and wouldn’t have to be concerned about petty problems like mass shootings and GMOs. 

Has something gone terribly wrong?  Was America dropped on it's head as a baby, or is it just me?  I’m asking…

Is This High School All Over Again?

Have you ever left work early because you just couldn’t take it anymore?  Have you called in for a ‘mental health day’ lately?  Do you question whether your coworkers are the spawn of Satan?  If so, then Hi, my name’s Gen Clever; you must work with the same people I do!  Nice to meet you and I’m so very sorry.   

Image Courtesy of ClkerFreeVectorImages

Coworkers:  People we are thrown together with, usually by circumstances beyond our control, generally in a work environment.  Different but similar people may be found in your organizations, clubs, or civil activities.  The bottom line is that you wouldn’t spend time with these folks without some form of compensation, monetary or otherwise.  It is a forced relationship.  Maybe that’s why it’s called a work-force…

Back at work some days feel like a high school field trip where everything is fun and everyone is bonding like fingers dipped in superglue.  Other days feel like that day in high school when that note you wrote got passed directly into the wrong hands and you felt more embarrassed than if you’d shown up naked to gym class. 

Alas, there are those high school tales of undesirables undergoing extreme makeovers and a musical montage morphing them into the Prom Queen with a heart of gold…  Spoiler Alert!  These tales are unlikely to unfold in the workplace.  One is generally the victim OR the bully, the awkward loner OR the socially accepted, not one and then the other.  Sometimes a transfer or promotion will toss you from one status to another, but after an initial adjustment period, one usually ends up in the same old group, just perhaps now wearing heels from time to time.

Where am I going with this? 

If you're like me, it matters emotionally how your coworkers treat you.  It matters more than how your boss does.  (Much like in high school where your peers’ opinion of you was infinitely more vexing than any teachers’.) 

Nope, definitely not me.

I once was Homecoming Queen of the workplace.  Middle management with a smile.  Stern but fair and pretty darn likable.  Kinda like the Prom Queen but better because I got to hang out with the marching band and that is so much more fun than cheerleading!!  I mean let’s face it: upper management is just saying the right words with the proper enthusiasm while simultaneously shunning the minions and pleasing the shareholders.  I’m just not that girl.  

So there I was, minor royalty, when the company decides to cut corners and ‘laterally move’ me.  (That’s upper management speak for a demotion without a pay cut.)  So here I am, working in a department I used to run.  Ouch.  It feels like the queen is now forced to eat lunch at the Goth table.

It’s not that I mind the Goths.  I look great in black.  I appreciate Poe.  I’ve dabbled in cynicism and sculpted my own ‘Bell Jar’.  I get it.  So now I deal with insecure clones that push me around because they know I can and have done the job better than them.  I get micro-managed.  I get to be the scapegoat.  I internalize.  Then I go home and write.  Thank you?  

Image Courtesy of Gen Clever at insane_ekard Productions

It’s simple: treat me as you would a stranger.  It’s the least you could do.  And hey, we all know you’re good at doing the least…  

Please feel free to share this memo.

This post means no harm to Goths, Cheerleaders, Prom Queens, or Upper Management.  Especially that last one.