Is America a Hypocrisy?

Image Courtesy of Pixabay.com

I feel like I’m missing something.  Something BIG.  Where was I on the day that everyone got the bucket loads of whatever I didn’t.  Was it that day I went to the DMV?  Did I miss an emergency broadcast that was an actual emergency, followed by very important instructions that I never got?  This is the only explanation I can come up with.  I’ve Googled my brains out and I either missed something, or half the country is now legally insane.  Seriously.

Most conservatives identify as Christians.  Christians are supposed to help the needy.  But giving people affordable healthcare is bad?  It is bad because it comes from the government and the government should be small.  The government shouldn’t be a giant babysitter that takes care of us and tells us what to do.  We should take care of ourselves.  Screw your neighbor.  Why should you help them?  If you help them, it will only make you weaker.  They should help themselves, dammit.  If they can’t make it on their own, they must be doing something wrong!  United we stand?  I am totally confident that Jesus would agree with the conservatives.  Or am I missing something?

People believe that legislation based on religious beliefs is justifiable, even though the First Amendment expressly forbids it.  The same people flip out about their Second Amendment right to bear arms.  People simultaneously cling to AND ignore the Constitution.  Is THAT what makes America so great?

People believe that homosexuals are to blame for the decline in American family values.  I suppose all the heterosexually explicit content on television, pornography, exotic dancers, strip clubs, prostitutes and marital cheating websites are all a part of the dastardly homosexual agenda.  The gays are clearly responsible for all of the straight people fornicating everywhere they shouldn’t be…

 

While we are on the subject, if under ANY circumstances I end up pregnant, it should be decided by an elected official (who I may or may not have voted for) and is not my family member, medical provider, or church affiliate, whether I should carry this child to term?  I must have blacked out and forgotten that women are nothing more than baby ovens.  It’s okay though, because I know the generous men in charge will be happy to assist me with diapers and groceries because I can’t afford groceries, diapers, transportation and daycare on my current salary, which definitely should NOT be higher than it is.  If I get paid more to do my job, the terrorists win.

Of course there are grants and scholarships available to me, and if I wasn’t such a lazy freeloader I could go back to school, finish my degree and get a better job that pays more money so that I can afford to feed and raise my child without mooching off the government.  People do it all the time right?!  Great. Who is going to watch my baby after I’ve worked a full shift so I can study?  Who is going to watch my baby while I go to classes at night and on the weekends?  Hopefully whoever it is will take lots of pictures because I won’t have time to be there since my education is far more important than my daughter or son’s childhood.  But wait, isn’t that putting the mother’s needs before the child’s?  So why did I have this baby?  No, no, no I am working for my child’s future, not mine!  My life no longer matters.  I am nothing but a baby factory.  If only marriages were still arranged so I could stay home with my kid while my husband goes out to earn a living much much more monetarily sound than I EVER could! 

On to a different subject.  Legalizing marijuana is going to ruin everything!  I mean just look at the influx of money into Colorado, Washington, and Oregon.  That cannot be good.  Money can fix problems.  Money can pay for education. People will be driving recklessly with their children in the car to 7-Eleven to buy Cheetos and Beef Jerky!!!  If we don't come up with a solution, this will surely cost us jobs.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we are in so much DANGER!!!!!!!

The 2016 Presidential election.  That’s it.  I am definitely missing something on this one.

I realize it is bold of me to admit that I’m confused by a lot of what’s going on.  Maybe the liberal media is mind controlling me.  Maybe if Sunday School was graded, I would have failed.  Maybe when I was a 19-year-old kid I could have made better decisions and stayed in school and finished my degree and I would be a part of the 1% now and wouldn’t have to be concerned about petty problems like mass shootings and GMOs. 

Has something gone terribly wrong?  Was America dropped on it's head as a baby, or is it just me?  I’m asking…

Thank You For Lettin' Me...

The world gets crazy.  Our brains get full of worry and what-ifs (ironically except for "what if I stopped worrying about what-ifs?").

Our blood pressure rises and before we know it we are starting our heavily caps locked social media posts with words like: 'RANT' or 'WARNING'.  Seems more like anti-social media at times...

What I'm trying to say is, we get caught up and we forget to say thank you.  I don't mean thank you as in 'please and'.  I mean we straight up forget or downright overlook the good stuff, which is just down wrong.  Am I right?

So, I'm going to say some thanks and hopefully you'll  see some of mine that apply to you too.

 Image courtesy of Felixco, Inc. at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Thank you for allowing a reasonable distance between your car and mine.
Thank you for letting me in front of you in line.
Thank you for picking up the phone.
Thank you for laughing at my awkward jokes.
Thank you for commenting on my post.
Thank you for the likes, shares, and pokes?
Thank you for accepting my pizza coupon that expired.
Thank you for the concern when I look tired.
Thank you for the extra napkins.  It's as if you knew what could happen!
Thank you for bringing chocolate candy.
Thank you for reading my rambling.
See how full of thanks we could be, 
Just by me seeing you and you seeing me?
Strange or familiar we're much the same
When we remove the busy and the pain.
Thanks for giving ourselves the chance
To see beyond our circumstance.


Happy New Year!!

Tell Me a Christmas Story?

You never know what you’re going to find at the library.  Stick with me, it's worth it... I recently checked out a book called The Solstice Evergreen: History, Folklore, and Origins of the Christmas Tree, by Sheryl Karas. (1)  It has been quite an enjoyable read!  My favorite story is a little gem called ‘The Two Pine Cones’.  The story comes from from Finland.  

Photo by Me and used with my own permission

The tale is seasonally appropriate and would be lovely to share with any miserly type one may come across *cough* Mr. Trump *cough*.  Perhaps he can find some young apprentice to read it aloud to him.  

And it summarizes a bit like this… 

An old weary traveling wizard needs a place to rest for the night.  He passes a small log hut thinking to himself that he couldn’t possibly ask the poor family for anything, since they have so little for themselves.  He proceeds to a large ‘well-kept’ home instead and knocks on the door.  He is insulted, threatened, and turned away.  He returns to the log hut to humbly ask for a place to sleep.  He is invited in, fed, and given the only bed in the household.  To repay the kindness the next morning, the wizard gives the woman of the house a pine cone, telling her it will help her prosper in her first task of the day.  The woman’s first task is to measure the linen she had woven the day before.  It took her three days to measure all she had, as it kept multiplying.  She had enough to last the rest of their lives.  

The story of the poor family’s luck spread and the well-to-do family anxiously awaited the wizard’s return.  When he did in fact pass through town again, the rich family invited him in and treated him luxuriously.  In the morning, he offered a pine cone in gratitude and the woman of the house accepted it.  Her plan was to count her coin purse and reap the magic benefits.  Unfortunately, she sneezed first, and went to retrieve her handkerchief.  She spent the next three days sneezing and running to her handkerchief.  

Bless you, Mr. Trump, if you get my meaning…  And a Merry Xmas to the rest of us!

(1) Karas, Sheryl. The Solstice Evergreen: History, Folklore, and Origins of the Christmas Tree. Boulder Creek, CA: Aslan Pub., 1991. Print.

Gig Bless Us, Every One...

Image courtesy of geralt at Pixabay.com

Once upon a time 

I traveled store to store.  Nowadays I one stop shop:  veggies aisle one, curtains aisle four.

When I lost my way I'd consult giant maps, which I never could fold, only wad in my lap.  

Now I can make calls or send texts, while I drive

Multitasking technology keeps me alive.

When I get where I'm going the car does its own parking.

It charges and self navigates each embarking.

If I get home late and it's past dinner time, I just send emoji and pizza is mine!

What's on tv I never need know, because magic devices record all my shows.  

For every desire there's most surely an app

All our wishes, whims, wants with simply a tap

Instant gratification is our new motto

With the time we're all saving, Oh the places we'll go!

I'd like to go camping but there's no wifi 

What good are pictures of a brilliant night sky

If I cannot tweet them or share them for likes?

No Snapchat of marshmallows?  Seems a bit trite.

Off I must go, I've no more time for typing.  While I'm writing this poem, I could be off Skyping.

Thank the batteries and chargers that make my life happen

And may gigs bless this grid we've so foolishly fastened.

A poem by Gen Clever

Are you breaking any laws?

So you think you live in the land of the free?  How free are we really?  I'm not talking about marriage equality or gun control.  I'm talking about if a tree fell in the forest and you were there, have you committed a crime without even knowing it type stuff.   How many ridiculous, antiquated, or just plain unenforceable laws are still on the books?  I went Googling and here are 7 of my favorites.

Image courtesy of Teerapun at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Leave Bigfoot Alone!  Washington State 1991, Bill 92-247 The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by fine up to $100,000 and/or imprisonment up to 10 years.  Copy that.  I certainly will not harass any species that is as yet undiscovered.

Drivers yield to everybody always.  Oregon law from 1983, Traffic Law 811.025 Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.  Failure to yield to a pedestrian on a sidewalk is a Class B traffic violation.  I can't even begin to understand how this works...

 Image courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt 

Don’t open your car door.  Okay now you can open it.  Okay hurry up and close it!  Also from the 1980s in Oregon, Traffic Law 811.490 says that a door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.  The law also specifies under what circumstances you can open a vehicle door.  Note:  if there are pedestrians on the sidewalk, the passenger side doors may NOT be opened.  Improper opening or leaving open a vehicle door is a Class D violation. Alrighty then.

No dice! (At least not fuzzy ones dangling from your rear view mirror.) Illinois (And possibly other states) Law 625 ILCS 5/12-503(c).2 prohibits a driver from operating a vehicle with any objects placed or suspended between the driver and the front windshield which materially obstructs the driver's view.  No pine scent, fuzzy dice, tiny disco balls, or Hawaiian leis for you good folks.

No humans roaming around off leash.  In Belvedere, CA (just north of San Francisco) there is a City Council order that states: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” Hehe

Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Common

No Silly String.  Southington, Connecticut banned Silly String in 1996.  Violators will be fined 99 serious dollars.

Sorry, idiots can’t vote.  My personal favorite, from New Mexico Article VII Elective Franchise clearly states that idiots may not vote.  “Every citizen of the United States, who is over the age of twenty-one years, and has resided in New Mexico twelve months, … except idiots, insane persons and persons convicted of a felonious or crime shall be qualified to vote at all elections for public officers.”  Can we just make that federal law?  Pretty please?

As Walter Sobchak said in The Big Lebowski, “There are rules.”  So while you’re safely enjoying some fireworks this Independence Day, appreciate those smaller freedoms you have as an American, because hey, your dog could be walking you!

Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Visit http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/oregon to see oh so much more! 
 Please note that some of these laws may have been replealed. 
 I do not encourage you to find out which ones, or maybe I do.

Put Down Your Phone Please?!

Image courtesy of Carlos ZGZ at Flickr  

Imagine your phone and your wallet were two separate things.  What would happen if you left your house without your wallet?  What would happen if you left your house without your phone?  Is your answer the same for both questions?  Why or why not?  If you were a mile down the road, would you go back for your phone, knowing it would make you late to wherever you were going?  Do you even have the ability to leave the house without reading a review or posting a status update?  Are you aware that there are apps to help you reduce your phone usage?  Do you believe a person can be addicted to their smartphone?

My answers are: I need my wallet but not my phone, nope, because I’m not addicted, no way, uh huh, sadly yes, and indeed I do.  Technology is grand.  Social media has had a positive impact.  However, we do not need it all day every day. I am so over the smartphone zombies I could run over the smartphone zombies.  Can I?  If you can’t put your phone down long enough to ride somewhere in a car with someone, interact with a cashier, or cross the street, well then you suck!  That’s it.  I’m calling it like I see it.  I see it, because I’m looking at it rather than at my phone.  

Flickr photo by Rob Swystun

Moderation is all I'm saying.  There is a tangible, physical world to look at.  There are people to talk to, dogs to walk, adventures to be had.  Put down your phone, for just a moment each day.  Look at the sky.  Look at people in the eye, or at least in the general face area.  You can tweet about what you saw when you get home.  You may even become more interesting if you shared more of what you actually saw of the world with your own eyes, rather than the mindless drivel you see on your mobile screen.  You could share yourself with another person, IN PERSON!  Gasp!

If you or someone you know has become numb to the world around them because they are too obsessed with their smartphone, please seek help.  There are apps for that: Breakfree, Moment, Checky, or Offtime can assist you.  I also suggest going outdoors (because it’s harder to see the screen), leaving your service coverage area, hypnotherapy, finding a time machine, or simply getting a %*$^ing life.

  

You might even remember some of what happened last week if you reduced the number of meaningless soundbites you intake, and instead read relevant news for a short while each day.  What color was that dress anyway?  How many opinions do you need about something?  Why are we attempting to validate our lives in this way?  Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction.  The world will have a generation of idiots."  How did we become so broken?  I’m asking…

#Unplug  #TechnologyFreeTuesday  #PhoneFreefor5  #Participate



Photo of Pink Man by Carlos ZGZ from Flickr:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/carloszgz/15827689251/in/photolist-q7D3zZ-5TJoyH-bpcFqy-igJihb-bLcHw4-bz2Ff5-aGiFQn-ix6pai-aNEZTr-mXs4KP-bCWuuM-9DTk6K-bvATiE-byGJAh-2FZD-7pWFAX-62dhTS-kBNJm4-drC7KA-bHZ5YZ-5XkyEw-5q8weZ-4jyTZo-23zUX1-4NEYz7-4jyQau-5qcR53-4DhK-6UyKrK-8cKY9j-5Dj6pT-2pVKv2-aFRe2H-sb2arN-ejUAZx-2pVKqx-mPe7rH-rGqXfi-aiEnz3-8ambTW-aMUuKv-n1Sbpp-hs6NFs-iLLSFB-jBgRqU-4VBoom-5UAi8m-x9uiV-x9u7H-x9tU9
Photo by Rob Swystun of monument of Ukrainian poet Taras Hryhorovych Shevchenko (1814-1861):
https://www.flickr.com/photos/rob_swystun/17178667812/in/photolist-sb2arN-ejUAZx-2pVKqx-mPe7rH-rGqXfi-aiEnz3-8ambTW-aMUuKv-n1Sbpp-hs6NFs-jBgRqU-4VBoom-5UAi8m-x9uiV-x9u7H-x9tU9-rUmKui-2YEMYM-2YKd3L-s6bDDZ-bx9YgA-naPaJP-dW3As9-aGTj-hocczq-hobKm4-rN3e6i-t7KQ22-6eVbEj-tGp8Tj-2kW6Go-2kVNDU-6cqvif-e6Uwzz-rthfVG-pRQZrj-q9kQ7W-pqyfX6-7vxTv7-rAxPUK-bUxRRd-aZ939x-bUxRg7-akaFuR-4FYRxy-brtjse-jAhx62-ocBc1y-pj6Rvb-c4cVC7

Where Are the Robots?

Image courtesy of blickpixel at pixabay.com

Let us enter the world of the anthropophobic.  Anthropophobia is the pathological fear of people or human company. We have all suffered moments of this and I will from this point on lovingly refer to the condition as people-phobic and its sufferers as people-phobes.  Again, I do this lovingly and without judgment.  I simply fear that if I continue to write anthropophobic, this blog will be a drag to read and my point will be lost.  Not to mention I cannot type the word very quickly and my spell-check doesn’t even recognize the silly word.  Silly ‘Word’.

Where was I?  Oh yes, people-phobes.  People-phobes cheered at the advent of the Self-Checkout, the pizza ordering app, the sign-waving-mannequin, movie and television streaming, and sweet sweet online shopping… for the most part.  I say ‘for the most part’ because there remains a downside to all this bliss.  The beloved people-phobes’ pizza and smiley packages are still delivered by dreaded humans.  

More frightening still is the latte dilemma.  Not the ‘oh geez this costs what?!’ dilemma, but the having to activate my legs, bike, and/or car to navigate to the coffee shop, shack, or cart because I lack the skills or equipment to make a latte in the comfort and safety of my own home dilemma.  Forgive me.  Sometimes I over-identify…

In 1964 Isaac Asimov wrote an essay for The New York Times about what the world may be like in 2014 with all of the shiny new technology that would be accessible to the masses.  “Mankind will have become largely a race of machine tenders” he said.  In the actual year 2014, Oxford researchers agreed with Asimov, saying “Soon, all that will be left for human beings will be non-routine, creative work.”  I call bull hockey!  WHERE ARE THE ROBOTS?!

Image courtesy of Flickr gif 'mi robot' by trinity ass.

The highway billboards here in Portland are telling me that I can now order and pay for my Starbucks latte from my smartphone.  People-phobes rejoice!  Add to that Taco Bell, Chili’s, Panera Bread, and Mickey D’s have or soon will have similar apps to effectively reduce human to human contact.  I say that’s not good enough!!  People-phobes deserve better.  Let’s kick it up a notch.  A Roomba instead of a maid is nice, but it’s no Rosie.  Where is the drone mail delivery service?  Why can’t my pizza come in a self-driving KITT-like car that will accept payment from my R2 unit and when I’m done, Jinx can deposit the box in the recycling bin that will be emptied weekly by Conky 2000 and his crew?  Today’s secret word is "obsolete". 

One final note: Cyborgs and Androids need not apply.  I don’t think Dot Matrix would make for good tech support and Terminators are pretty iffy.  When my waffle maker suddenly develops a case of ‘the feels’ and I have to deactivate it, I don’t want it to do anything creepy like wink at me.  Three monotone cheers for people who don’t need people!

Read the references of the quoted stuff if you please:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stowe-boyd/robots-jobs-purpose-humans_b_5689813.html

http://greatideas.people.com/2014/07/22/starbucks-app-order-ahead-coffee/   

I own no rights to any of the robots or the franchises mentioned, their merchandise, or anyone or thing that has to do with them.  The text written here is my own original thought, work, and opinion, shared with love. Photos in this post belong to their original owners (not me). No copyright infringement intended.  I only offer my humble rambling opinion.  Thank you.